guess now you knoe the whole truth.. i'm sorry it has to be this way.. i'm sorry for hurting you in any way that occured.. i'm so goddamn sorry i have to leave.. it so freaking hurts, it kills inside.. i knoe i'm not perfect like your dream girl.. but i've tried my best to make you happy.. i've push myself to the fullest for you.. but now, i'm too weak to do that... i do push myself to the limits to stay alive.. i try not to think about it.. i try not to overwork myself.. but i guess i aredi did..
i confess i still love you alot.. i confess i still want you in my life.. i confess i still care for you alot.. i confess i want you back.. but i knoe i can't.. you aredi have someone new in your heart.. and you aredi knoe what i'm going thru rite now.. its ok.. i understand.. if god says i'm not meant to be with you, i can't fight the facts.. but i knoe i still love you with all my heart and soul..
i dun deny.. i pray for your happiness and health every single day.. hope you're happy with your new girl partner.. may she take care of you better than i do.. may she understand you more than i do..
in time to come, i'm gone, pls remember me as a memory, of the beautiful times we had.. forgive me of my mistakes.. forgive me for leaving unexpectedly... forgive me for all the bad times we had.. forgive me for all the hurt ive caused..
thank you for giving me a chance to love you... thank you for giving me a chance to care.. thank you for giving me a chance to learn.. thank you for everything..
ps, i love you.
-shasha-20/05/08- i admit i still love you alot and i want you back.
the path i've chosen ;
4:43 AM
Friday, May 16, 2008
= *speechless* =
i noe i am.. but what abt you.. haix.. -shasha-170508- -it feels like its gone-
the path i've chosen ;
10:01 PM
Sunday, May 11, 2008
= ENUF =
Passerby: hey, what a cute baby u got there.. Just like ur "HUSBAND".
Passerby: well, no one important... just take care of monster... dont let him stray wild with other girls... this is an advice...
Shasha reply:
Know what. this is the last straw. U're dead MR/MISS PASSERBY. N GUESS WHAT? I'M NO LONGER JOKING.
the path i've chosen ;
1:23 AM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
= updates =
been really busy with work.. so rarely update...
anw, went out with Taz and Fy on 2nd may.. had a great time though i was freaking sleepy coz i taunt the whole freaking nite the day before with him... so yeah...
talked about almost everything.. honestly, i really miss having that time spent with my girlfriends and talk openly about everything... we joke, laugh out loud till people look at us.. share a i-forgot-wat-is-the name-of-the-cake cake.. share two different drinks.. yes, smoke alot.. Pictures? dun nid say... thanks to the highly pro Fy, she took basically pictures of everything she can see... yes, including nose, ears, and whatsoever... Took so many pictures, our eyes turn blur thanks to the bright flash on Taz's cam that she uses...
the night before, i finish work at 11plus.. walk all the way to cityhall mrt to take a train back while on the phone conversation with B... den realise i forgotten to take my wallet from my work locker.. so no choice have to walk all the way back and miss the last train... so took a cab ovr to Gombak and we chatted all night long at Guilin... Seriously, i miss that... But as soon as its ard 4plus or 5plus... we kinda argued... and i turn heavy on smoking... (dun ask.. that awaz calms me down) den everything return to calm and cool kinda situation... Sent me off to take my train home.. Reached home and lie beside jnr for ard 3 hours, bath and back to workplace at noon..
i got one thing to say... dun try to twist the story to me coz i jolly well aredi noe the truth behind those pictures... I might not say it to u now.. but trust me, i might say it to ur face one day... and yes, it breaks my heart to see that in ur fone... i just dun wanna show it to u.. i tell u here.. U just dun understand me or my feelings... haix.. im so disappointed in u...
stop lying to me and i'll stop pretending...
Jnr aslp now and i'm so freaking tired.. just got back from work... and need my rest for tomorrow coz there's function held after 6pm.. gonna be damn tired... so, take care peeps... and to ezad de jack, i miss u bro... y didnt u call me like u promised? anw, nice to hear u're back here safe... take care.. to pirapakaran s/o raja gopal a.k.a jack, fucking tell me the fucking truth of what occured in bintan.. tell me lies to cover him, i'll hate u for life... just like how i hate FARHANA (ex-ve collegue)... trust me...
dun tell me to stop hating someone just bcoz that person apologise to u but not to me... stop saving that person's ass.. stop saying i can't control my anger.. coz if its true, i think i might not be here by now, but either in jail or dead thanks to murder... geddit dearie? love ya...
-shasha-070508- -jnr turn 2months today, i love you-
the path i've chosen ;
7:20 AM
IN LOVE WITH U
Smaragdos Calendula
29May1989 <3
wants: Class 2B/3 license
Mail me at : ladyinblack1602@yahoo.com.sg or sayang_shasha@hotmail.com
[MY SPECIAL LOVE]
Junior a.k.a Akid <3
Notes from the heart
in whatever ways u take, i still choose a different path..
in whatever speeches you said, i still be the opposition..
in whatever ways u react, i still react differently..
but amongst all the things i might be able to say,
i can't lie that I LOVE YOU.
Before, now and forever after.
6th June ~ BKUK 2nd Bdae
8th June ~ Iraah Baby Bdae
TAGGING CORNER
CREDITS&SHOUTOUTS
Do not remove anything from this area. Thank you.
I won't budge anymore. Enough is enough. You've created enough breakage in my life. You've shattered my dreams. You've destroyed my happiness. And i sure as hell know you're with someone new out there. You can try to lie, but you know that i know all about it. So good luck in trying yeah. :)
