Saturday, March 29, 2008
- why -
"why do you even love me b?" - was the question you asked me this morning.
Coz you're special to me and coz i love you truely.
the path i've chosen ;
7:24 AM
Loneliness is creeping up my back.
Tears flowing freely.
yes, i want us back.
the path i've chosen ;
7:20 AM
- insanity -
don't bother asking why the picutre is up.
I just miss you damn bad.
Insanity of mind occurs as i cry in silence.
i want you back.
And its true.
the path i've chosen ;
7:00 AM
- i confess -
yes i confess.
i'm still deeply in love with you.
yes i confess.
i'm missing you badly every second that passed by.
yes i confess.
i don't want the relationship to end.
yes i confess.
we've been through alot.
yes i confess.
i want us back together.
yes i confess.
i want you back.
and yes i confess.
i wanna meet you and confess to you everything.
-shasha-
29/03/08
the path i've chosen ;
6:36 AM
Saturday, March 22, 2008
i can't say much.
I'm lost & confused.
the path i've chosen ;
8:07 AM
Thursday, March 20, 2008
- i confess -
Thank you for everything.
The good and bad times.
The love, care, respect and trust.
But...
i'm sowie.
But i can't lie to you.
Never once i lie to you. Never will.
Right now i tell you.
I'm sowie i can't.
I can't pretend everything's okae.
I can't take another step forward.
I can't move on.
I told you before and i'll tell you again.
I can't live my life without you.
Once more,
i'm sowie.
i can't.
I need you back.
I want you back.
Come back baby.
Please.
-shasha-
20/03/2008
Come back baby please..
the path i've chosen ;
7:01 AM
- i'm falling - deep down -
Tell me why this hurts so much.
Coz i myself don't understand even if i try.
i'm sowie.
I just can't. i really can't.
i'm sowie.
I'm falling deeper in than i know.
I can't pick myself up.
i'm caught in a trap that i can never free myself from.
The trap with poisonous air.
The one i breathe that causes me to bleed.
"The day i said i love you, i will never let you face the world alone"
Those were the words you used to say to me once.
And never did you allow that to happen.
But i never thought that day finally came.
I HAVE to face the world alone.
Why baby why?
"In life, sacrifies should be made."
"To make one party happy, you have to hurt the other party"
Is this it?
The biggest sacrifies you ever have to make.
Sacrifies our love, our future together
to make some other people happy.
You not only kill me inside.
You kill yourself inside too.
Just for them.
May i ask why?
i respect that decision in a way.
That you rather hurt yourself and me
For the sake of their happiness.
But in another way, i can't accept that decision.
I'm sowie.
It just seems unfair.
yes i know.
Life's unfair.
-shasha-
20/03/2008
the path i've chosen ;
6:03 AM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
- confessions -
Its not over tonite.
Just gimme one more chance to make it right.
please.
i tear my heart open.
i feel all broken up inside.
please.
its not over right?
One more chance.
For me to make it all better.
-shasha-
19/03/2008
once more.. please
the path i've chosen ;
4:26 AM
- lets play pretend -
i'm sowie..
but this wound will never heal..
it hurts too much till it kills..
i'm too afraid to look in the mirror to see my reflection..
It hurts damn bad..
I'm too afraid to take another step..
It kills another limb of mine..
I'm too afraid to do anything else..
I'm aredi dead inside..
People say "Time heals everything"
I'm sowie..
But this wound will never heal..
It can never heal again..
Maybe if my heart stops beating,
it won't hurt so much..
Please don't get me wrong.
I just can't..
I'm sowie..
Lets play pretend..
Pretend that everything's alright..
But i noe right now i say..
I'm sick of saying everything's okae..
Coz reality check, its not..
Its not okay..
I'M not okay..
I can never be okay till i have you again..
i'm sowie..
-shasha-
19/03/2008
i can't.. i just can't..
the path i've chosen ;
4:11 AM
- Once upon a time - To Monster Lee -
It all begins almost like a fairytale. Having him around blessed me with tonnes of happiness. From darkness, he brought upon light in my life. He cheered on me, encouraging me to go further and never give up on anything. He taught me alot of things. But most of all, he taught me the great value of true love. Something i never found till i met him.
The soft whispers of 'i love you's. The warm, comforting and secure hugs. The little kisses of everyday love. The smiles of a million wonders. The laughter of pure joy. The love of a true person. Something which alot of people think he's not capable of doing. But deep down, i noe he's true.
The good memories of everyday. The sweet laughter of happiness. The cheerfulness. The all sweet pure love that poured out. The bond ever so great that could never break apart. The bitterness of life that tried to tear us apart always fails. The trust we build up for each other stand so strong even though there are days when it rattled.
I'm sowie baby. But i have to confess. I can't live without you around. Everything reminds me of you. From every step i take, to every movement, to every place i go, to everything i see, eat, drink, touch or hear and to every prayer i make. Its just so hard. i can't. i'm sowie. i wanna hug you. I need you damn bad. Call me desperate i dun give a shit. But you're so damn precious to me. You've made a huge (even huge is not the right word) impact in my life. but why now? I dun understand. Really. I received your mail. I read it through and through. I printed it out. I read it again and again. I noe you didn't meant it. But still, i can't understand the decision i have to go through. Alone. I'm sowie if everything that happen put you under so much pressure that you decided on that. Mistakes are made. History can't be erased. This is the song you recently downloaded:
Until the day i die - Story of the Year
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you
As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die too
I'd die too
You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does
We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!
You're never alone baby.. Even though we might not be living together anymore, i still love you alot.. and i will awaz love you forever and that fact will remain. i have never hated you, and i can never do that. i love you too much to hate you.. in my life there's onie one guy i love the most.... you... no one else.. baby pls. i noe you got your reasons of to why... and i'm willing to listen if you're willing to tell.. my biggest fear happened even though i never ask for it and owas prevent it from happening.. and honestly even till now, i can't stop crying ever since i left that place.. my head hurts. my stitches hurts.. but my heart hurts more.. baby, tell me why..
i've been trying to find myself ever since.. but i just can't seem to.. i try to calm myself but i can't.. my hopes and dreams shattered.. my world came crumbling down.. there's no use to life anymore.. i can't do it.. i've lost myself.. i've lost my courage.. i've lost my faith.. i've lost my cheerfulness.. i've lost everything i hold so dear.. but never once in life i regret ever since i knew you.. coz ever since i knew you, i noe you're special in every way.. it depends on how people look at you..
god, tell me why you took that sparkle from my eyes. god, tell me why this hurts so much.. maybe now we're not meant to be.. tapi as you used to say to me, kalau jodoh tak ke mane... we'll be together someday.. i noe we will.. i love you alot..
-shasha-
19/03/2008
staying alive coz i know i haf you.
if you die, i die too.
i mean what i say to you on websms just now..
the path i've chosen ;
2:31 AM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
- warning -
i'm angry. i'm frustrated. i'm about to blow up. Trust me. You won't like it. At all.
the path i've chosen ;
3:47 AM
Thursday, March 06, 2008
-counting the days-
i'm counting the days...questions never fail to linger in my mind..n right now, i miss you...-shasha-060308-
the path i've chosen ;
3:14 AM
