Sunday, September 23, 2007
- confessions -
i wanna make it up to her.
can i?
-shasha-230907-
-9.18pm-
the path i've chosen ;
6:10 AM
- the bestest people ard -
this is ISQ2006.
ITE College Central Bishan.
Higher Nitec Business Studies (administration).
the people i associate with when i was in school with them.
they're fun-loving, funny, bubbly, chatty and great to mix around with.
the bond among the class is superb.
i'm proud to call them family even though i left the class much earlier than expected.
i still miss them though.
Not to forget the class advisor, Miss Amy Tay Hui Hui.
Known for her obsession with Hello Kitty and lady who always wears a dress and high heels.
Miss them loads.
the path i've chosen ;
5:11 AM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
- what does it take -
what does it take for me to recover? You, my dear husband. You owas cheer me up whenever i feel down or not well.. If you didnt noticed, everytime you do that, i start to recover from my sickness.. And as days passed, you keep making me laugh and smile with all your jokes and funny movements.. Plus hugs and your get-well-soon-kisses on my forehead everytime i went to sleep to rest.. Orang tua-tua ada cakap, seorang teman hidup yang akan berkekalan adalah sebuah penawar bagi teman hidupnya.. or, however they put it.. (translation: old ppl got say, your true lifetime partner is your medicine whenever you're not well..) okay, easier translation.. if your partner is really your lifetime partner, whenever you're sick or unwell, when he/she is there by you, you're easily to get well or recover fast..
whatever it is, i noe the moment we found each other, we found true love.. and i love you the way you are no matter what ppl wanna say about you.. Coz its you i'm in love with, not them.. trust me.. Muackz.. I love you.. Thankiew so muchie for these past few weeks i've been really ill.. You've been a great company..
and for all the muslims, Selamat Berpuase.. May this month of Ramadhan brings you true meaning of life and bring you closer to ppl you love and that you have the patience to undergo any obstacles that come by.. Amin..
take care..
-shasha-220907--11.14pm-
the path i've chosen ;
8:03 AM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
- why the feeling? -
(taken from diary)
why am i feeling this way? why am i feeling sad? wanting to cry all the time? why am i feeling so angry? why am i experiencing fast mood swing again? why am i angry all the time all of a sudden?
i'm tired of it.. i'm tired of hiding.. i'm tired of wearing that mask.. i wanna break free.. i wanna spend my time with you again like we used to.. i miss those days.. in fact i miss you.. alot.. i dunno what else to do..
gawd, this feels almost like depression.. except that i'm not having it..
haix.. i wonder whatz going on.. i wonder how long is this gonna last.. i wonder when will it end.. haix.. i kept having these questions running over and over in my head like a broken record.. i tried to ignore it but the more they echo in my head.. making ma head hurts..
tell me what to do honey.. i'm confused.. and feeling a little bit lost..
-3.08pm-
the path i've chosen ;
12:44 AM
- crossed out - 280907 -
it was sapose to be a surprise for me. But i keep on bugging him with millions of questions asking what is it. But he won coz he didnt spill anything to me at all. Until, we got to the place.
well, i was smiling from ear to ear when we got there.. Finally, i managed to own the heels i was hoping for.. He bought it for me.. And plus, its ma lucky day, the heels is on discount and i am allowed to purchase another thing for a discounted price.. Hehe.. Happy day.. After we got what we want from Orchard, we head down to Geylang..
it was stuffy.. as usual.. but he managed to get me a baju kurung to match his black male baju kurung for this upcoming hari raya.. cute.. and guess what, the man at the stall was super nice to us that he gave us a cheaper price than expected.. i mean, is it jux lucky or everything we bought was given a discount..? hehe.. anw, got the baju kurung.. so we head straight to the food section to get food for buke.. and we spent in total close to $200 with a snap..! heesh..
2 things off my wishlist.. thanks to him.. for making it possible.. muackz..
the path i've chosen ;
12:44 AM
- im the unforgiven -
i dunno when will you realise that you're the will for me to get well whenever i fall sick.. everytime i fall sick, you promised to look after me.. tell me whats in your mind.. do you want me to get well? do you want to help me get well? your actions says, no.
i'm lying down, feeling almost dying of this sickness.. wondering when will i recover.. wondering if you'll ever be the one taking care of my meal and my medications.. wondering if you'll sit beside me while i sleep and rest away the tiredness of being sick, hoping i'll recover soon.. wondering if you'll be the one who tuck me in bed and tell me i'll be okay..
honestly, thatz in my mind.. the things that you never let me see.. while i cry away in my heart at night everytime i tell myself i'll be okay, i wonder if you ever noticed that.. while i try to hold back my tears of pain, everyday wanting to get well, wondering if you noe and see my pain.. i noticed your sorrow.. i noticed your troubled mind.. but you hid it all from me.. and everyday i wonder when will you tell..
i noe you love me alot... i love you alot too.. no doubts about that.. but honey, its time to realise that things you hide for too long will soon be out for me to noe..
till then, i will still wait.. coz i noe what i say in my mind or verbally, will cause hurt, no matter its for good or bad..
-shasha-200907--5.19pm-
the path i've chosen ;
12:44 AM
- tribute to the girl -
for sure i dunno who she is. but for all i noe, she's part of the BK. Means she's part of him. i dunno what actually happened, but all i noe it sparked anger in him.i guessed she meant so much to him, til he said the fight just turned personal. well, to be honest, i was abit tersinggung* when he said that. especially now i'm still very weak.
*tersinggung = emotions disturbed/hurt
to be frank, i dunno who the BK are. But after putting so much faith and trust in them, i still think they do exist in this heart of mine.
One girl, apparently close to his heart, moved on yesterday morning. I didn't noe about it till someone came to my dreams and let me see it. After hearing his explainations on what actually happened, i'm sorry for the loss of her. Honestly, i'm still me. I still feel sorry for anybody who just lost a member of a family, even if it happen to be my enemy.
i can't say much about it. My mind too weak to think up many words. But all i noe, BK, i spare a silent moment for her. She's part of you people, means she's part of him. dun worie, i understand the sorrow he's facing.
hey, i'm still a human with a heart noe.. so i understand..
-shasha-200907-4.02pm-
the path i've chosen ;
12:44 AM
Monday, September 10, 2007
- fear -
Its beacuse of fear.. its because of fear that i fall.. i kept on falling.. the world is pushing me down everytime i try to stand up.. its the fear that haunts me.. its the fear causing me much hurt..
but y? why is fear out to haunt me? what have i done now..? Fear caused me alot of hurt.. Because of fear too, i got into alot of misunderstood quarells.. Why is the fear there..? Why? i dun understand..
baby, please help me thru this.. Please guide me along this tough life.. i can't go thru it alone..please..
-shasha-100907-
the path i've chosen ;
4:14 AM
Monday, September 03, 2007
. im going to be missing you .
all i wanna you to knoe is that i'm gonna be missing you dear baby..and that i love you alot..it might be that we aren't able to see each other..or to see you grow up..i still love you..muackz..
shasha.030907.
the path i've chosen ;
1:07 AM
