its sickening and heart-wrenching when you're trying to move on with life and then you get all the sickening flashbacks of life... the painful and hurting moments you went thru in your relationship... haix.. what can i say.. it happens without you wanting it to.. ok ok... here goes my updated entry... On Sunday, 311206, was hari raye haji... Was at Aunty 6 (say it in malay without the 'e') house... the atmosphere was very kecoh.. the first thing my abg2 sedare said to me when they saw me was "sha, matair kau mane??" i was like huh..? btol tak btol sey dorang nie... den i answer la, "hari raye pat umah family dia la... nanti malam dia datang sini..." and they go like, "ouh.........." cibeh... weird sak dorang nie... Den on Tuesday night, i sent him off for his booking in of camp... We reached abit too early and end up waiting for the star karatz... But nevermind... they are not tat late aniwae... i went off as soon as the group gets bigger.. throughout the journey back home, flashbacks start... all of it.. from the start till recent happenings.. but the most painful and hurting ones kept appearing.... like the one he 'disappear' for two and a half months.. and the bitch who try her very luck to tackle him, who now works as a bar girl... and the fight i had with him at study corner (at gombak, our slacking port) which happen at night... and the big fight at guilin which ended at 11pm.. and even the incident where it onie recently happen of to which i figured out that my sickening slutish sister has feelings for him... haix... all this shit kept on appearing.. be it im awake or asleep.... i dun understand why they kept appearing... i reali dun understand.. but then it all will still be in my heart and mind till time runs out... coz without this incidences, our relationship won't be strong... coz in the relationship, you'll need ups and downs to keep it going and build it strong... now, im just waiting for him to book out of camp... i just wanna be with him... just wanna hear him talk.. just wanna be in his arms... haix... i miss him... sometimes i would just sit down and look at our pictures... for hours... at times when ma mum were to enter ma room and saw me staring at the photos, she would ask if everything between me and him are okay.. i would usually say okae... even though sometimes we're not... whatever la... its parts and parcel of life... i love him more and more... but pls sis, dun get in ma way.. or try ur luck to make him fall for you.. coz all i noe its not possible as he hates you... and i dun wanna hurt you... dun make me hate you worst than i hate poison... leave us alone... find other guys... fuck off... -shasha- 050107 4.42pm = awaiting new challenges ahead of time=
the path i've chosen ;
12:16 AM
IN LOVE WITH U
Smaragdos Calendula
29May1989 <3
wants: Class 2B/3 license
Mail me at : ladyinblack1602@yahoo.com.sg or sayang_shasha@hotmail.com
[MY SPECIAL LOVE]
Junior a.k.a Akid <3
Notes from the heart
in whatever ways u take, i still choose a different path..
in whatever speeches you said, i still be the opposition..
in whatever ways u react, i still react differently..
but amongst all the things i might be able to say,
i can't lie that I LOVE YOU.
Before, now and forever after.
6th June ~ BKUK 2nd Bdae
8th June ~ Iraah Baby Bdae
TAGGING CORNER
CREDITS&SHOUTOUTS
Do not remove anything from this area. Thank you.
I won't budge anymore. Enough is enough. You've created enough breakage in my life. You've shattered my dreams. You've destroyed my happiness. And i sure as hell know you're with someone new out there. You can try to lie, but you know that i know all about it. So good luck in trying yeah. :)
