Smaragdos Calendula A.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

[...break fast todae...]

wei wei wei.. haha.. i miss ma babygirl.. i miss ma crazee fun-loving frenz.. i love ma 'sayang-actor', wan.. haha.. kidding.. i miss ma crazee bros, jack and syawal.. and i miss ma one and onie lover that captured ma heart.. miss him lots...!!

hmm.. lets see.. today buke puase was all about me eating.. haha.. i accompanied mum to buy the food to break fast.. we bought vadeh, nagasari, doughnut, mee siam (for ma sista), 2 packs of mee goreng (for ma parents), kway teow goreng (for me..!) and 2 large fries (for ma lil bro).. plus, ma mum's fren gave 2 packs of bubur masjid and ma dear aunt hu lives the same blk gave badak berendam (wei, not animal ar.. its food..)..

i spread the dishes on the dinner table... ma sis lend a hand.. then when its time to break fast, (here's the best part) prayers first.. then all start eating.. start off with kurma (the dates...)... eat and eat.. me being the joker make everyone laugh.. ma lil bro finished first.. he left the table.. next was ma sis.. she cannot stop coughing.. (she's sick la).. finished up her share, left the table and went to pray.. next was ma mum.. then ma dad.. now left me alone at the table.. and here i am left to eat all the food that is left on the table..

see.. what i told u.. and now im pretty much buncit.. eee.. tak suke.... chiaow.. wanna rest..

260906
9.37pm

the path i've chosen ;
6:44 AM

Sunday, September 24, 2006

[...cool & start of puasa...]

first of all, lets reply to the taggers.. haha..

chitra: me misseuu to0 swiits :) *LOVES
mizfire: reali..? aww.. tatz so swit of u.. i miss our naughty-nez in oa class.. haha.. take care sweetie..

Fiz: hey tag me...jgn tak tag...
mizfire: tag ehk.. tgk kau.. nanti aku tag kau..

okies.. lets get back to the entry...

Saturday, 23rd Sept 06
i was sapoze to go to the ITE carnival thingy.. but i didnt go coz something cropped up.. something me, mon and jack are related to.. but yah.. another thing cropped up..

jack was sapoze to meet me and mon today but yah, he backed out last minute.. i was kinda angry.. but i cooled down fast.. nah, its okae.. if he doesn't want to, why persist and force him aite..? its okae.. there's still other days.. i was kinda hurt ar.. coz the plan was actuali a dream of mine.. but now its shattered.. but im okae with it.. i can live with it.. but what happen after that, that i reali can't take it..

i met mon at his area as usual.. it was around 12 noon.. then from there we took the train and drop at a place we reali missed going to.. cityhall.. lotsa memories there for him, me and us.. we slack at our usual spot.. near fullerton there... talked.. joke around.. you noe, when you're reali in love with that someone right, even spending the time with him alone means alot.. be it being crazee or crappy.. den ma fone rang.. i look at the caller id.. saw a name i didnt actuali wanted to talk to ar.. but i asked mon to answer it for me.. but.. i end up talking on the fone coz the fone is being passed to me.. i didnt reali talked ar... jux kept quiet.. the person on the other line was the one who did the talking.. (erm.. i dun wanna continue the incident.. lets stop here... jux for me and mon to noe..)

okae... after that, we drop by at lau pa sat.. the place we didnt drop by for months.. sat for awhile.. then we went over to bugis area.. walked there to be exact.. haha.. met ma sis for a while.. then sent her off when she took a cab home.. then we took a train and off we go to pasir ris.. and meet our beloved brother, syawal.. its been months since we met..

mon was like, "when you see him, shout his name and jump onto him.. k set..?"..
i was like, "yeah right.. its not as if he can support me.. i think he'll fall flat on the ground if i were to do that..."

met wal and slack for a while.. than me and mon walked to pasir ris int and took a train home.. cool day.. crappy enough too.. haha...

Sunday, 24th Sept 06
today is the start of the fasting month.. Ramadhan.. a fun and challenging month..it was a great start for me.. woke up for sahur which nearly caused me to have a heart attack.. my mum go and bang the study table in my room.. purposely.. then, after eating, when to sleep... my sis went to solat subuh.. i reali cannot take it coz i was awake before that.. so i went back to sleep.. wake up at 11 plus in the morning.. then did some cleaning.. solat and all..

the 'best' part was when jux now ar.. i had to put ice pack on my left eye coz my eye turn blood red and kinda swollen.. the cause of it..? i was washing the dishes, when soap got into my eye.. wash my hands too quickly and not reali clean it, quickly rub my eyes.. not noticing there's dish soap on my finger.. so end up it became worst ar.. the dish soap on my fingers got into my eyes making it worst.. quickly rinse my eye with water and wash my hands, making sure its clean.. take ice pack and put it on my bloodshot eye.. cool incident huh..? geez.. wasn't i careless.. but now okae aredi..

now i wanna go in my freezing room and lie down.. waiting for a call.. maybe.. haha.. take care peeps..

240906
11.39pm

the path i've chosen ;
8:22 AM

Thursday, September 21, 2006

[...my updates for the last few days...]

ma replies to tagboard:

chitra: update darls..
mizfire: i am now.. haha..

okies people.. its been awhile i didnt update ever since exams are over.. well.. okies.. here goes.. lets see..

14 sept 06 & 15 sept 06
lets see... i went over to taunt at Sentosa... erm... at Palawan Beach to be exact... together with my laki (translation: husband) and my dearest brother, Jack..

we had fun ar.. run about at the sandy areas.. sleep under the shade.. haha.. we didnt sun tan ar.. later become too dark.. haha.. then we went swimming.. the days gets better after the swim.. we eat, joke around.. disturb jack with the hot chics that walked past us.. Mon wanted to pull out the peacocks' mohawk.. haha.. i was laughing away.. me, wanted to hug the peacocks.. stupid sia.. it was fun ar thru out the day.. at night, we slept at 8pm and woke up at around 10 plus at night.. then we talk thru out the night.. haha... but the best part, me and mon did a slow dance with the slow song that was broadcast at power 98FM... Jack was nowhere to be found coz he was on the fone with a gal and he went to walk all over the beach from end to end.. sick..

we all slept at 4am.. but at around 8plus (i think) Mon and Jack had a wake up call from the peacocks.. haha.. jack was like "fucking cocks.. disturb me in the morning..." haha.. one peacock was in white and it wanted to peck at Mon's feet... but lucky i wake him up in time.. they had a wake up call from 6 peacocks... haha... i was the one hu bath first.. then jack then Mon.. but the funny part was that.. when me and Mon was taking a stroll along the beach, we have this funny feeling of wanting to swim n the sea again.. so we turn all the way back and told jack about it.. and yah.. all 3 changed back and dive in... wasn't long till the downpour came.. me and jack was shivering.. but i was the worst ar.. then we change up and slack awhile.. then we went home..

16 sept 06
this day was my anniversary with my sayang, Mon.. but we didnt meet up ar.. hehe.. i stayed at home.. hehe..

17 sept 06
i was sapoze to book in at 9.30pm for the camp im attending the next day.. but i went to meet him at ard 2pm... we slack and chill around.. Jack join us but onie for a while.. then i went to take the train and drop at yio chu kang and meet brendan up.. den walked over to hq..

18 sept 06 to 19 sept 06
had camp in hq.. camp FEAST 5... had lotsa things going on... the whole camp onie consist of boys.. and im the onie female clt around in charge of the boys.. walao.. but it was fun ar.. coz my troop was a bunch of horny bustards.. haha.. they talked to me about lets having sex and crap ar.. then got one part they make me angry.. i didnt talk to them and didnt even help them with their preparation of their performance that night.. so called merajuk ar.. was freaking pissed sia.. my troop kene fuck from 3 male clts around there for making me angry.. but the touching part was during their performance... they did a last minute skit.. and it turn out well.. and the finale was this : they took a mic from the emcee and said, "last but not least, to mdm shahidah, we apologise" then they got off the stage.. everyone turn and look at me sia.. hu else is a mdm down there.. onie me.. at first there was total silence.. then suddenly there was a thundering applause from the mph.. it was because my troop made a sincere public apology... damn touched sia..

was fun camp overall.. but i fell sick on the second day.. news spread so fast.. when i came down, everyone was asking whether i was ok or not.. especially my troop.. yah.. my horny little bustards.. haha..

20 sept 06
something that occured that i'll never forget till the day i die.. i dun wish to share it..

21 sept 06
went over to gombak to meet him and jack.. we slack around and talked to jack about some stuff ar.. and did some planning..

22 sept 06
here i am in front of the comp updating my dusty blog.. in the morning i went to geylang to shop for some seafood.. and when i came back, i was stinking like hell.. thanks to the market.. geez..
and now im looking at my sayang at the webcam.. haha.. cute..

chiaow people.. btwm chitra, i update aredi laio.. i miss you girl.. so so i miss zura, daya, shila, zu, wan & haojie..

3.36pm
220906

the path i've chosen ;
11:24 PM

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

[...moodless...]

finally exams are over.. phew.. but... i dun really feel a sigh of relief.. coz the results ain't out yet.. haiz.. im worried about it.. very..

account paper sux today.. freaking hard sia.. but i managed to finish up the whole freaking paper... but.. i can see alot of mistakes.. well... all i gotta say is hope for the best.. gawd..!

hmm...i was freaking irritated the whole day in school today.. geez.. some people.. fuck it la...

i called syawal up jux now.. haha... miss him alot.. talk to him also not long.. awhile onie.. he seems tired.. well... good enuf i get to talk to him jux now.. even for a while..

im not in the mood to blog today.. chiaow..

shasha
10.24pm
140906

the path i've chosen ;
7:29 AM

Thursday, September 07, 2006

[...upset & cheered up...]

todae i cheer myself up.. telling myself everything's ok.. everything's gonna be fine.. yep.. it will be..

i was pretty tired when i went to school.. but i try not to reali show it.. went to scul with zura, wan, itik, zulaiha n naq.. (naq was actuali walking past, but guez he slowed down to walk with wan..) i wasn't thinking straight all day.. i was missing him alot.. alot.. haiz.. but i sure hope everything's okae...

went to OA and as usual i got nothing to do.. so there i am slacking around.. went online on msn but not chatting with anione.. Chitra darlink was bz doin finishing touches on her powerpoint presentation.. so didnt disturb her.. Naq sat with wan n hao jie.. which is actuali right behind me.. so its pretty noisy.. but wat the heck aite.. they're having fun playing games online.. my mind wasn't exactly with me all day.. it floats away.. i kept on thinking about him.. i reali miss him.. alot.. well.. haiz.. nvm.. i sat at ma place and try to cheer myself up.. den he msg me asking if i am online.. i said yep.. wen he reach home, he went online and open conversation wimme.. since i got nothing to do, i might as well chat with him since i miss him so much.. so there i sat chatting away.. easing bit by bit of my rindunez.. hehe.. told him i will be presenting my project todae.. He said "u can do it.. u're the best.. i noe u r".. i thanked him for the support..

well.. things wasnt wat i expected ar.. its ma turn to present.. i open to my first slide of ma project.. i start to talk.. but each time i talk, she interupts.. i talk, she interupts.. wat the fuck.. i was aredi pissed.. but kept ma cool.. it was until she kip on flipping the pages of ma slides handouts and kept asking me to "next".. lagi worst, i was presenting abt the financial profile and she ask me to hurry up and end the freaking presentation.. i mean, wat the fuck..? i put ma heart and soul in this freaking project and ma presentation is barely 5 mins.. i didnt even get the chance to present properly.. what the hell.. i was freaking pissed sak.. reali.. went to ma sit, packed ma stuff and talk to him..

was about to breakdown but manage to hold back.. coz i made a promise... so i didnt.. sial ar.. my hardwerk sak that project.. i was reali enthusiatic about the project... i went to details of every info i put in ma project.. and submitted once i finished everything.. den when it comes to presentation? sial ar.. fucked up sia... i was reali reali reali heartbroken siak.. reali.. haiz.. im never gonna do anotha project so nicely done and with ma sweat and hardwerk again.. fuck it.. she reali noe how to destroy ma interest... haiz.. i reali got nothing to say.. i wanna represent but.... haiz.. forget it.. shez jux gonna do the same freaking thing again..

i kinda blew ma top off.. but afta lunch i cooled down aredi.. was okae aredi.. during accounting i was like persuading wan, hao jie, kelvin and sophian to go snw... and they kip goin like "duno.. see first la.." walao.. guys.. freaking stubborn.. and not to forget lazy too.. haha.. kidding.. but finally they agreed to go.. walao.. make me tired onie persuade til accounts finish... played badminton with them... 3 against 2 game... very funny.. i partner with hao jie.. super funny.. alot alot of stupid stupid actions and incidents.. we kept on laughing... til stomach muscle tense up.. haha.. wan suddenly burst out laughing for no reason which made me burst out laughing too.. haha.. crazee.. but overall... it was fun being with the guys.. freaking funny.. made me laugh ma heart out.. thankiew guys.. reali cheer me up.. haha...

shasha signing out...

[song listening to: her ghost in the fog - cradle of filth]

070906
8.15pm

the path i've chosen ;
4:55 AM

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

fuck u bastard.. leave me alone.. bcz of you shit start to happen..

no wait.. everiting starts from me.. shit happens bcz of me..

fuck life..

baby i nid u..

060906
9.35pm

the path i've chosen ;
6:36 AM

[..disgusted..]

ew.. ew.. ew.. ew.. ew.. ewww....
yucks..!! fuck..! im having goosebumbs sak..!!

got tis kid, he was ma primary scul mate.. i knoe him.. but he seems to forget me.. haha.. good enuf ar.. but everytime he saw me online, he owas open conversation.. and ask me put ma pic der.. and if i dun, he'll go like "uuuuuuuuuu... boleh la... boleh la u.." kimak..!!! biler sak aku jadi pompan dia..!!! geli sak aku..!! padahal dia tahu dak aku da ade guy.. wat the fuck..!!

he commented tat i was cute wen i change ma pic (got tis pic ar)... i say where got.. den he insisted tat im cute.. i malas nak layan jux thank him ar.. den i put one smiley face (coz im a cheerful girl.. i like to do tat...).. guez wat, he gimme a freaking kiss sak..!! wat the hell...!! i was like, wat the..??? den he got the cheek to put one smiley face with the tongue sticking out.. sial ar.. gatal sak dekni..!! geli...!!!!!!!!!!

Baby...!! tengok ar si giler nie..!! menggatal siak with me..!! tak suke sak..!! eeeeeesh..!!!! geli...!!!!! urgh..!! disgusted sak aku..!! serious sak..!!

B u see ar.. ape sak nie.. geli sak mi.. serious sak.. he menggatal sak.. B... B... tgk ar...

060906
7.48pm

the path i've chosen ;
4:42 AM

[...average day...]

lets see.. i went to school late today.. fucking late sia.. was at the bedok mrt station when i msg zura and daya.. then i receive a call from zura.. she told me she didnt go scul too.. she too woke up late.. she told me that her mum woke her up at 7am.. then i told her la ma dad lagi best.. wake me up at 9am.. 910am to be exact..sheesh.. i couldn't force maself to rush to scul coz ma spine hurts like fuck..

baby msg me at 9.12am jux now.. asking me what am i doin.. i told him im getting ready to go scul.. he ask me la what tym i actuali start todae.. i told him the truth ar.. told him i remembered the last tym i check the tym was at 5.45am.. but i couldn't move ma entire body.. den i passed out.. den i woke up when dad wake me up at 9.10am la.. geez... tough luck sia..

i walk fucking slow to scul todae.. i didnt rush even though i noe im freaking late aredi.. walk over to the bedok mrt station.. missed the train.. so waited another 7mins.. so i sat down awhile la while waiting for the train.. as usual, i was day-dreaming.. hehe.. but not rabak la... den took the train over to raffles.. well.. i kinda khayal so termissed ma stop at cityhall.. so drop at raffles and took the red-line train from there la.. met daya, shila, itik n nina for lunch... talk crap as usual..

BZF class was as usual freaking boring.. daya was unwell so she was like falling asleep.. i disturb wan n hao jie.. haha.. den i draw draw at ma notes and BZF book.. haha.. was freaking boring sia.. but at least i come for lesson.. (nah, i come for the attendance).. itik was aredi fast asleep at her seat behind.. nina as usual trying her very best to focus on the lesson but at the same tym wishing that the lesson will end soon.. shila was doodling away..

went out of scul with daya, shila, nina and itik.. sent daya off at interchange.. den we walk walk at j8.. made a stop at the sasa shop.. itik was going spraying the perfumes onto the pieces of paper.. and nina actuali sprayed the escada perfume onto herself.. haha.. shila n me browsing thru the collection of perfumes... gosh, otak seng sak.. pening bau perfume byk2.. went home with shila.. talk abt studies n tis girl hu seriously got no sense of fashion n matching of colours..!! making fashion name go bad onie.. shila was laughing away wen she saw the girl i was describing to her..

hmm.. i miss ma guy.. alot.. he sounded cheerful enough jux now during the 14min fonecall.. he told me aniting to msg him and he'll call a.s.a.p.. den i teased him la asking wen is his a.s.a.p will be... he was like trying to make a deal with me.. (you people no nid to noe.. haha..) b, u noe, i noe, the werld duno.. haha.. baby, i miss you alot.. i tried studying while waiting for shila and daya for lunch.. i ended up doodling ur name n 'love notes' all over the page of the notebook.. hehe.. i kept on thinking about you la baby.. to be frank, i think of you all the time.. haha..

k lah.. i wanna update ma otha blog... to zulaiha, ur most welcome.. im glad i could help..

shasha signing out..

[song listening to: the unforgiven II - Metallica]

060906
6.08pm

the path i've chosen ;
2:50 AM

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

[...dedication...]

-Dedication-

My sky is now blue,

The chains have been broken,

I give you these words

As a special token

Of my love for you,

And what you have done,

You took away darkness

And gave me the sun.

The story of our love

Shows fate to be true,

I really believe

I'm meant to be with you.

For with each kiss we share,

My happiness grows,

Our love shines bright

And I know that it shows.

So I promise you honey,

Even though we're apart,

You're always on my mind

And forever in my heart.

-thankiew for the poetry baby-

050906

the path i've chosen ;
3:54 AM

Monday, September 04, 2006

[...today...]

hmmm... lets see.. today is an average day.. school as usual starts at 10am.. i woke up feeling pretty much drowsy + worned out.. haiz.. nevermind.. went to school with zura, shila, daya n itik (translation: duck) .. haha.. fairuz i mean.. yah.. she message me early in the morning saying got some prob, so i agreed to meet her up to go to school together.. train was freaking packed sia today.. walao.. some werking adults jux cannot be patient enuf to board the train.. the train won't grow legs and run away lah walao..

our dearest class advisor, ms amy tay, didnt come today.. i thot so.. she look terrible yesterday.. we all end up doing account paper that was given out... and as usual, we do werk with earphones stuck in our ears.. haha..

lunch was as usual.. ate at mac near to our scul.. as usual, eat, talk crap, laugh, zura on the fone.. while me, getting pretty pissed off at starhub for corrupting again.. geez.. been trying to call him from 12.40pm.. onie manage to get thru at 1.08pm.. walao.. fucking starhub.. he was pissed off too.. at starhub for corrupting.. sheesh.. so here i goes on the fone with him... then got to hang up coz teacher entered the class.. so now online with him.. but his status is 'be right back'.. hmm... i wonder what took him so long.. i miss him alot.. hehe.. (paiseh paiseh) hehe..

scul ends at 5 today.. sucky.. pretty tiring too.. but we'll be spending 4 hours straight in this comp lab.. shucks.. my spine hurts again.. shitty.. k lah.. till now.. to be continued later...
chiaow...

050906
2.26pm

the path i've chosen ;
11:02 PM

Friday, September 01, 2006

[...hmmm...]

haiz... i've been pretty hot-tempered lately.. well.. i dun blame others for it la.. coz its the days of the month noe.. hehe.. i am being the hot-tempered chic once again.. hmm... i think its time i changed again...

anw, i miss him.. alot.. i wonder if he knows.. hmmm.. yeah.. i think he knows it.. hehe..
i love him alot..!! hehe.. Love you baby..!! Muackz..

Hey sis... (Fairuz i mean) thanks alot eh sis.. i reali reali appreciate it alot.. thankiew..

To sis (ais) & mr punk (hehe) good luck to your friendship.. may it blooms and mayb goes at greater heights.. Take care...

To ma darlinks, Zura, Daya, Zulaiha, sorry i didnt reply to your messages or answer your calls.. i couldn't take the pain my spine is giving me.. i jux got to find a place to sit... thatz why i ask you all to go first.. So sorry if you guys think im angry at you guys.. I was pissed but not at you guys... i was pissed at someone else.. Pissed at ma juniors ar.. ade lah kisah2 nye.. Zura, sorie i rejected your call yesterday afternoon... when you called me.. i was lying down in my room.. dah seriously tak leh gerak.. my back hurtz like hell.. after that something happen ar.. You dun haf to worry ar.. im not angry... Daya, congratz upon your win... Your dance moves are great..! You look good too.. Congratz.. *HUGS*

i nid to go off now.. reali nid to go n lie down now..
chiaow..

010906
11.03pm

the path i've chosen ;
8:11 AM