today. its been a year ever since he went away. went away and never ever return. i miss him so. i duno how to put this. but i really miss him alot. he went away so suddenly. the sudden impact of losing him still stays as bleeding wounds in my heart. i can still remember, this date last year, i was at his house waiting for news of him.. standing at the corner of his house. Looking at his room. Looking at his devastated mum. I can't help but breakdown see-ing her tat way. it hurts me so bad. last year, this date.. i went out to fetch my mum from werk.. but as soon as i step my feet into the house, my elder sis came running to me telling me about the news.. i didnt wanna believe her at first.. but until i saw the news on teletext, i fell silent.. suddenly my world jux fell quiet.. i kept staring at his name on the tv screen.. i finally lost him.. hez finally leaving the world.. tat was wat i thot.. why i said that.. (before i continue, to fatt, im sorie if tis made u breakdown after reading it...) he knows hez gonna die.. he knows hez leaving alot of people that love him.. he knows it 3months before the actual day happen.. i can't say more.. i saw it too.. i saw him.. but the hurtful part is that i didnt noe it would be him coz i dun wanna believe it would be him.. i remembered struggling to hold back the tears for up to 5 hours straight.. at that night itself, i go over to his house.. my heart says, its true.. hez gone.. it took me a long time to accept the fact that hez gone.. but i managed to.. it took me alot of will to hold back all the tears.. but i finally cry.. i onie managed to forget about the whole incident after 10months... but every effort i put in gone wasted as i saw parts and pieces of memoirs left behind which is afresh tonight.. it made me see what happened again.. why...? why left behind memories..? leave me alone.. haix.. i jux wanna breakdown and cry... life's not easy when you lost someone whom very close to you...
al-fatehah
untuk arwah Muhd Hazwan Bin Hamzah
who passed away on
14.08.05
and dikebumikan on
15.08.05
at 2pm (if i remember clearly)
Memories stays as you moved on with your other life. We all miss you. We pray that ALLAH forgives your sins and may you be able to rest in peace.
assalammualaikum.
[14.08.06][10.48pm]
the path i've chosen ;
7:54 AM
IN LOVE WITH U
Smaragdos Calendula
29May1989 <3
wants: Class 2B/3 license
Mail me at : ladyinblack1602@yahoo.com.sg or sayang_shasha@hotmail.com
[MY SPECIAL LOVE]
Junior a.k.a Akid <3
Notes from the heart
in whatever ways u take, i still choose a different path..
in whatever speeches you said, i still be the opposition..
in whatever ways u react, i still react differently..
but amongst all the things i might be able to say,
i can't lie that I LOVE YOU.
Before, now and forever after.
6th June ~ BKUK 2nd Bdae
8th June ~ Iraah Baby Bdae
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CREDITS&SHOUTOUTS
Do not remove anything from this area. Thank you.
I won't budge anymore. Enough is enough. You've created enough breakage in my life. You've shattered my dreams. You've destroyed my happiness. And i sure as hell know you're with someone new out there. You can try to lie, but you know that i know all about it. So good luck in trying yeah. :)
