Monday, August 24, 2009
what more...
what more can i say to this lovelife?
i can't say much.
bt all i can say is that IMY baby.
u text me up that night brings so muh joy to my heart.
but wen i text u back, i got no reply.
what more can i say.
if you aredi found someone new.
congratz is all i can say.
may u lead a happy life is all i can wish.
heartache is all i feel.
to see you happy brings joy to me.
to feel ur pain bring death to me.
to taste u again, will be impossible for me.
to hold u again is just another dream.
IMY DAMN MUCH. MIT ME WILL YOU?
<3
the path i've chosen ;
10:45 AM
Thursday, July 02, 2009
<3 IMY MUCH
Is our love a fantasy lie?
Something which will never have a 'happily ever after' ending?
i can't say much. i miss the great old times. the you. the me. the us. the great memoirs. the fun laughters we had. the smiles. the warmth hugs. the loving whispers of iloveyous into ears. the lustic kisses. the warmness of our soul.
baby i miss you. you've been hospitalised for a week. i all so goddamn worried about you and your whereabouts. you refused to take my calls nor reply my endless messages. why baby? i miss you damn much. please. stop all this nonsense already.
"Maaf kan aku jika ia harus begini. Cinta tak selalu nya indah."
ps, IMY ALOT. GET WELL SOON. ='(
the path i've chosen ;
4:29 AM
Monday, February 23, 2009
- as of now -
alot of things have been going on lately.. like tonnes of things happen during just a short period of time.. wanna explain everything oso i feel lazy to do it coz it'll affect my mood...
things between me n him, are getting better... both of us are focusing on us and our baby boi... and we focus on career too.. we still do fight la.. but not as often as we used to.. we both felt the same way.. just like we both fall in love with each other.. its speechless la..
anw bloggers, sorie for not updating for quite a long time... been busy with stuffs and all... so yah... paiseh abt that...
next month, baby love is turning one year.. how time flies.. he's getting so big and smart.. haha.. anw, im thinking of a bdae bash for him.. will confirm and let u invited guests noe k...
he's getting extremely naughty btw... his godmamas... pls take note of that k...
next mth, mummy is calling out to all his GOD-mama(s) out for a picnic at EC... pls lemme noe ur free days... so i can reconfirm everything...
thankiew...
lotsa love,
smaragdos calendula
the path i've chosen ;
11:31 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
- haix-
HAIX. IM GOING THRU TONNES OF SHIT NOW.
FEELING SUPER SUPER SUPER STRESS OUT.
GOD HELP ME OUT.
EASE THE PAIN IN ME.
CALM MA MIND. CALM MY BODY N SOUL.
HAIX.
='(
the path i've chosen ;
6:50 AM
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
- updates -
happy new year to all... hope this will be a brand new start for all beautiful souls..
eve of new year, was with M* kids down at marina, tjg rhu side to watch the fireworks.. had a great time.. den ride down to bedok to slack til early morning..
fri, 02/01/09, accompanied hanz to collect his paycheque.. went down to high street plaza.. den went to meet rock n amir.. to go to auntie shop to do motorbike stickers..
9-11/01/09, layankan 3 different ppl doing the exact same thing.. if u ask wat i did this weekend, i'll say this, "went karaoke for 3 days straight. amacam?"
sat, 10/01/09, went riding.. keep in mind, 2 bikes, 1 pillion (tatz me).. went to OCH, den ride ard changi disturb bapokz.. den park at the side of the road, sit down at NADERAH kopitiam, n drink 3 gls of coffees.. amacam.. talk all night long, till its ard noon, decided to go home.. pit stop at kedai minyak, went toilet.. otw out, a car honk at us.. its R. so, want or not, we u-turn all the way back to naderah n sit for anotha 3 hrs.. den went somewhere else...
12/01/09, enrolled at bbdc.. one step done.. now its time to focus.. my goal is by 3 months, i shud pass my license aredi.. and latest by my bdae, i should get my bike aredi.. hope tak sangkut..
13/01/09, went to pasir ris with akid... taunt overnight there.. had a whole lot of laughter thanks to akid... he's my sunshine... i love him alot...
14/01/09, going out with the M* boys... can't waith for this sat.. we're going riding again.. its explore time...
take care ppl.. i love u all..
muackz..
regards,
smaragdos calendula
the path i've chosen ;
10:20 PM
Saturday, December 20, 2008
-look behind my smiles-
haix...
why are you doing this...?
why is this so hurting inside...?
there's nothing but total silence now...
where are you...?
do you know i'm worried about you...?
do you know i'm missing you badly...?
you see me smile...
but do you think i'm really happy...?
look behind my smile...
look into my eyes...
you'll see me crying...
neverending flowing of tears...
watch me smile my sorrows...
is this a farewell from you baby...?
the last words was "bye baby.."
i didnt know that will be the last i see you after i head off work...
baby... come back pls...
my life just feels so empty without you...
nobody can understand me as well as you...
this is not goodbye...
its just a nightmare i have yet to wake up from...
pls... come back...
im missing you... so is he...
smaragdos calendula A.
211208
'every night i cry myself to sleep. why baby you doing this?'
p/s, i love you.
the path i've chosen ;
11:22 PM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
- kiss me gently -
i'm at loss of words... i'm so confused...
You're so fabulous in my eyes...
You're so good to me...
You understand me so well that not anyone can really understand me like how you do...
You know whats best for me and whats not...
You know my best points and my weak points...
You always bring me up when i'm down...
You always cheered me on when i'm at the edge of giving up...
You always encourage me to look on the bright side...
I remember it clearly....
The day you slipped away from me....
I can never heal my heart anymore...
i keep asking why...
I keep asking god why...
I keep wanting you back...
The last we did was to kiss the time away...
with you hugging me tight...
not wanting to let go...
Singing to me...
With words so hurting...
It kills me inside...
With a smile on your face..
And tears in your eyes...
You tried to remain calm...
But i can tell you're killed inside...
Killed along with me...
As we hug each other in tears...
I dun wanna be apart from you...
From that moment...
how i wished that time will just stop and let us be together...
i can't do this baby... i really can't...
baby i'm really really sorry...
i didnt ask for all this to happen...
We were made for each other...
To be together forever...
Nobody can replace you in my heart, my mind and my soul...
Ever...
p/s, i love you...
Smaragdos calendula A.
181208
"thank you for loving me.. i'm sorry i couldn't see.." the words that you sang to me... n the more tears fell when i heard that... dun say goodbye now... we promised eternity baby...
=(
the path i've chosen ;
10:09 PM
IN LOVE WITH U
Smaragdos Calendula
29May1989 <3
Married
wants: Class 2B/3 license
Mail me at :
ladyinblack1602@yahoo.com.sg or
sayang_shasha@hotmail.com
[MY SPECIAL LOVE]
Monster Lee <3
Monster Junior a.k.a Akid <3
Notes from the heart
in whatever ways u take, i still choose a different path..
in whatever speeches you said, i still be the opposition..
in whatever ways u react, i still react differently..
but amongst all the things i might be able to say,
i
can't lie that
I LOVE YOU.
Before, now and forever after.
[EX/BTS PEOPLE]
Kykie /
Zata /
HweeLi /
Amanda /
ShuWen /
BasilOne /
BasilTwo /
Fardale /
Azmi /
Fiza /
Edmund /
Tasha
[ITE PEOPLE]
Joanna /
Linda /
Jasmine /
Fairuz /
Fiz.Giler /
Ain /
Sophian /
Rachel /
Rachel too /
Azreen /
Etty /
Salena /
[BLOGGER/FAMILY]
Shazzy /
Miza /
ApekYano /
PeiPei Kino /
BeeKoon Kino /
Xinhui Kino
[WEBSITES]
Blackmetal.com /
Yahoo mail /
Hotmail /
Online Biz
MEMORIES THAT LAST
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
July 2009
August 2009
Dates To Note
pass my bike license
get babyboi a pampering day
get thru this heartaching life.
earn well, live life happy,
bring up akid n make him happy.
TO SEE HIM IN THE AFTERLIFE N HOPE TO LIVE TOGETHER FOREVER.
TAGGING CORNER
CREDITS&SHOUTOUTS
Do not remove anything from this area. Thank you.
SHOUTOUT TO MONSTER (MA HUSBAND) (2007):
I love you alot. i'm sorry for all the trouble i've caused. Thank you for teaching me the right from the wrong. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for always loving me despite the situation. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for always being the greatest and the bestest husband ever. Thank you for everything.
I love you alot. Muackz.
THIS IS FOR YOU BABY (By Monster to shasha) (2007):
I LOVE YOU ALOT AND I WANT YOU TO BE SAVE AT ALL TIMES... I KNOW AT TIMES I MIGHT NOT BE THERE BT TRUST ME I WILL BE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME.. I WILL BE AT A PLACE ONLY YOU WIL KNOW.. LOOK DEEP IN YOUR HEART YOU WILL FIND ME AND THE -BKUK- IN THERE.. AND BY THE WAY PLEASE GET WELL SOON... LOVE YA.. MMMMUUUUAAAAACCCCCKKKKKZZZZZ!!!!!
TO MONSTER LEE (19/03/2008):
I love you alot and i will awaz will. you're awaz in my heart and mind. you're never a passerby in my life and never will be. i'm sowie for everything that has happened that put you under so much pressure. i tried to ease out the pain but i noe u rather take it alone. But i want you to noe i'm awaz here and will awaz be. Once upon a time you promised you'll never say goodbye. And till today and forever after, i hold to that promise. Coz deep down inside, you'll awaz belong. In my heart. In my soul. In my mind. Baby, you're never alone. I love you. And so does akid. You will
NEVER EVER BE REPLACED.
TO MONSTER LEE (18/06/2008):
ps i still love you..
TO MONSTER LEE (14/01/09):
no matter how far i run, my mind n my heart come running back to u...
TO MONSTER LEE, MY LOVE:
Goth craft have taught me alot of things. Goth life have brought my mind back to where i thought it went missing. It teaches me to be more patient. It teaches me the techniques of releasing pain via magick. it teaches me to meditates when im stress out. it teaches me that crying is not wrong. it teaches me that love is pure. hatred lasts forever. guilt lasts for eternity. thank you. i love you.
